This one will be (relatively) short and sweet.  This case was a write-in, and the citizen’s argument was that his vehicle had dead batteries (it was a small truck, hence two batteries) and couldn’t be moved before the parking ticket was issued.  These cases tend to be straightforward: if you can show a mechanic’s receipt from the day you got the ticket, or at least something like it, you will usually get your money back.  Of course, this presupposes that the parking violation is for being somewhere longer than you are supposed to be.  We’ll get to that in a moment.

Witness Testimony: Respondent stated that the vehicle was inoperable due to dead batteries.  Replacement batteries were purchased shortly after the citation was issued.  Respondent submitted a receipt for the batteries as evidence, which seemed dubious.

The receipt was handwritten, which isn’t uncommon itself, but it was “dubious” because the receipt was, to my eyes, written in the same handwriting as the citizen’s (handwritten) write-in case.  Making up your own receipt and offering it as evidence is foolish, but the ticketed violation itself was worse.

Finding of Fact: I cannot comprehend why Respondent believes that dead batteries are a suitable defense to parking on the sidewalk.  The sidewalk is not an acceptable place to stop one’s vehicle when the vehicle appears to have mechanical difficulties.  By blocking the entirety of the sidewalk, Respondent created a dangerous and unacceptable hazard to all pedestrains, particularly those who are disabled.  I therefore find Respondent Liable for this citation.

What in the world was this guy thinking?  “Battery’s dying, better pull onto the sidewalk?”  More likely, he was parked on the sidewalk for some ridiculous reason without knowing that his batteries would die, and when he couldn’t start the vehicle to move it, he decided that perhaps I wouldn’t bother looking at the violation and would just give him a free pass because his batteries died on him.  The wonders never cease.